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My Blog Has Moved

Dear Yogis,

It is with great pleasure and excitement that I have re-launched my website and totally awesome new blog!  Please find me there.  Namaste, Pamela

Pamela's New Blog

Kundalini Teacher Traing...I'm on my way

It’s 9 pm ish in New Dehli and I’m sitting in a super posh upgraded executive kind of suite room having just had a massage and a very elegant dinner.  I can’t say that I feel quite human yet, but I’m clean and have hair that is blown dry.  I love pasta.

The car comes at 10 pm so Zant and I can head to the airport for about 23 hours of plane rides.  While I’m not looking forward to a plane ride, every mile towards Ohio, my kids, my pets, and my studios will be a thrill.  I miss America and all that it has to offer.  I’m so looking forward to walking into my home and realizing that I live like royalty.  I can’t wait for my fluffy bed, my oversized tub, my big screen TV, and a Bi Bim Bop at Iron Chef.  If I ever start to take America and all that it offers for granted ever again, I’m just going to pull out my pictures of India. 

I wish so badly that I had some amazing spiritual story to share about this Kundalini Teacher Training, India, and life as we know it.  I’m hoping that in the future, all will be revealed to me and translated to you.  Everyone told me that I would change a lot because of this program, not just the Kundalini, but also from being in India.  I don’t know that I have.  I feel exactly the same as when I left only with some of my flaws, faults, and idiosynchronisities highlighted.  Trust me, I still got a lot to work on before I become enlightened. 

I can’t say that I found God.  What I did find from the craziness of not just India, but also a yoga teacher training set up and intended to push your buttons on every single level, is that I possess a solid and quiet groundedness.  I think it keeps me sane and keeps me from doing a lot of crazy things.  I’m gonna call that solidity “God” for now.  Sat Nam Yogis.  See you VERY soon.   Pamela

God or no God?

So things are winding down here in India and everyone appears to be serving time until we are able to either go home or continue traveling through India.  We have all done our practicals of teaching a class to each other and we had a written exam today that took around three hours.  It actually took me around 5 hours because I ended up taking it twice. 

Zant got sick again with a terrible fever and belly situation. (He’s getting better now.) About 25% of the participants in the program seemed to be sick yesterday with a similar thing.  They are trying to be very clean feeding us food washed in mineral water, organic, and prepared the correct way.  I personally have steered clear of all raw foods and fruit.  I’m drinking only the boiled teas and milks as well.  I’m gonna assume the illness came from the fresh and raw because I didn’t end up with the illness.  Anyhow, in preparation for being sick I took the test in the manual because they indicated that would be our test.  20 pages, 7500 words, handwritten….AND they decided on a different test.  India….(that’s said with a tone indicating a cuss word preceded it.) 

Yesterday we did a 2.5 hour meditation of Eck Ong Kar Sat Nam Siree Wahe Guru.  2.5 hours later, trembling from cramping through my seated body, hoarse in the throat from trying to carry that chant, I had the realization that there is no God.  At this point in this journey, I’m just thinking and realizing that I’m trying way too hard.  Honestly, if you absolutely knew there was a god or absolutely knew there wasn’t a god, would you change your behavior?  Why not simply change your behavior because it is healthier and makes you feel good?

During this 2.5 hour torture session, I realized that I was pulling my body forward and straining so hard thinking some amazing spiritual thing was going to happen.  Nothing happened.  Seriously, nothing.   I have had my spiritual moments here and ultimately I do believe in God and magic and all of that stuff, but jeez, why am I trying so hard?

I can’t wait to get back home and just relax into life as I know it.  I don’t know how different I am or how different the world is.  Everyone said when I come home I would be totally different.  I feel the same.  I still am obsessed with working, teaching, and helping.  I still need to manage my time better.  I still have two kids I adore striving to be a good mama.  My house is probably still gonna be messy and my dogs are probably still going to be less than good.

What I have learned is an amazing way to help others.  I have so many kriyas and meditations and am looking forward to combining my love of Ayurveda with all of it to start working very intimately with small groups and one on one coaching.  I feel like I have a TOTAL toolkit now to shift a person through yoga, meditation and Ayurveda.  I have simple practices that I can prescribe to them.

I’m very grateful for that (and for God).

Kundalini TT, Day 18...DEATH....

So today we did our practicals.  Zant did an awesome job and my was not too shabby!  I need to do a little work with my hair though.  Apparently, your hair has to be up in Kundalini yoga because your hair ends are like some kind of energetic antenna or something.  I think this will be my biggest struggle teaching because I am simply that person that pays no attention to my hair whatsoever other than to brush it first thing in the morning and before I go to bed.  This has actually been a recurring theme and comment in my life since I was a small child.  I do remember around the age of 3 going into the bathroom and cutting it all off.  Sat Nam on that one.

So, I’m sitting at the Wifi cafe and true to India, all the electric in the city just went out again.  Zant and I came for dinner and I’m thinking it may be a bit delayed.  In the meantime I’m drinking the most yummy concoction of lemon soda.  Imagine squeezing a fresh lemon into a bottle of sparkling water.  It’s heaven.

So I want to write about something we learned about from Guru Dharam.  He told us the journey of Death.  Once a woman came to Yogi Bhajan and wanted help.  She asked him if he could show her how to live.  He said that he could not, but he would show her how to die.  My mouth just fell open when I heard that.  It’s so beautiful.  This is how you die…

At death, be thinking of God or a mantra.  You don’t want to be thinking about anything bad or sad because that is the Karma that will present most strongly.  Spend your whole life with your third eye on God so in the moment of death, you will be in the right state.  When you die you float out of your body and enter a shaft of light.  You begin to recognize people on your journey up.  They call to you.  You come to a plaza where there are 2 fields of energy.  One is hot and one is cold.  Guru Dharam called the hot one the Karmic Cafe and you don’t want to dine there.  The cold one is the Dharmic Diner.  Go there.  Some are not grated a choice, they just have to go to one or the other. 

Once you step into the energy field of one or the other, you lock onto a magnetic field of energy.  You experience what is known as the 5 blue ethers.  There is a Cosmic Library where the record of your life is.  Your subtle body drops off your file.  You go to other ethers to receive teachings from Saints, Sages, and Being of lights or Angels.  Your soul recognizes it’s growth and needs.  You wait for your next reincarnation. 

I think it’s a very good story. 

Some things you will have to answer when you get there so you might as well start working on it now are the following:

• What did I come to this life for? 
• Did you achieve it?
• What must you do in the next life?

Sit for a moment with these questions and really ask yourself….Why are you here?  Why did you come?  Are you on your path? 

Sat Nam Lovelies,  Pamela

Kundalini Teacher Training Day 17

I can’t believe it is the 17th!  Only 7 more days to go. 

Our practicals begin tomorrow.  I’m lucky because I was assigned a Kriya that Andrea has taught many times and I know it well.  I don’t want to over practice it, because I want to do an experiment and see if the teachings really do simply ‘come through’ energetically as we have been taught. 

Today was an amazing day.  Gurmukh taught.  You have to find her on youtube…I’d link, but the internet here is really bad.  She is 70 and could kick anybody’s butt.  She has this super soft sweetness with a really awesome edge.  She loves big parties and birthdays!  Every chance she can get to feed us cake she does.  (Don’t worry, it’s all Ayurvedic, full of fruit, and delicious).  Tomorrow we celebrate all the Pisces because her birthday is coming up on the 25th.  Of course, I think that’s awesome because mine is on the 27th so now I’m convinced we have some super cool connection. 

The food has gotten a little weird in the last week.  We have been on an Ayurvedic Cleanse of sorts.  The rice and dahl I totally understand, but we are in a country where they never say no.  Because of that, they continue to serve “special requests” of raw salads, fruits, loads of roti (little breads), and always dessert.  Aside from that it is a perfect cleanse.  They even put out all the herbs and powders that we need.  Of course, no one knows what to do with anything so I have been having a ball walking the buffet line with people suffering all kinds of disorders and helping them to understand how to put it together.  Back to weird though….  I think they are trying to gorge us on the bitter and astringent taste.  Zant and I literally couldn’t eat our lunch today and ate dinner in the hotel.  If anyone ever offers you a bitter gourd…run. 

So, I don’t know if I told you the monkey story, but the monkeys are really scary especially if you are taking a picture of a baby monkey.  The stray dogs that were so adorable tried to attack Zant and I at 3:30 am the other morning on our way to Sadhana.  I think they were a gang from another part of the hood because our street’s dogs came to our rescue.  Well….tonight, we paused in the street to adjust a flip flop and my 6 cows including Tyler, Bess, and Josephine circled us and nearly licked us to death.  I think I’m scared of cows now too.  They are very big.  Lawrence was sick today and all the locals where feeding him bottled water.  I found Jill this morning sheltering from the rain on the top stair of one of the hotels.  They are hysterical. 

Goodnight friends.  Sat Namooooooooo,  Pamela

Kundalini Teacher Training...Day 14

Happy Vday from India.  They don’t really celebrate that holiday here, but Zant and I did by going out to dinner at the Wifi Cafe!  We had our meditation practicals today, and I must say our entire Jetha (that’s a family of sorts and I’m sure to be spelling it wrong) rocked it.  Kundalini is fun to teach because there’s sort of a script and exact plans for everything you do.  All of the kriyas and meditations have been handed down by the rishis and gurus.  They are tested.  They work, so you don’t change the teachings at all.  It’s not too hard teach.  What is hard is showing up as a Kundalini Yoga teacher…embracing the total lifestyle.

So what are you getting into as a Kundalini Yoga teacher?  Clean living, selfless service, and devotion.  I think the morning practice is the most difficult for all only because you have to get up pretty early.  When I get home, I don’t intend to get up at 3:30 each day to practice yoga alone for 3 hours.  A modified version of Sadhana is coming for me and for most folks.  I do love the morning practice.  It clears out all of your stuff and let’s you embrace your day in a gorgeous way.  Only problem is you have to be in bed by 7:30.

Today we talked about yoga and religion.  I liked what Guru Dharan had to say about it.  Basically, he explained religion as a formalized structure that helps you to recognize your origin.  Your origin is of Spirit.    It is a methodology for self realization.  Yoga, on the other hand, is the science of religion.  If you look at the religions of the world, you find an undercurrent of language and that is yoga.

Mudra (our hand positions in yoga) is the most common denominator of religions.  Mudras create a circuit in the human field.  So, if you were to hold up your index finger and middle finger (think peace sign here, but seal the fingers together) you are doing the Christ Mudra.  This is a mudra you can find in artwork of Christ.  This mudra energizes the heart chakra and allows love to flow.  Jesus’s message and gift to the world was love.  Pretty cool, huh?

Each finger and many parts of the hand represent the astrological energies of our galaxy.  You guys know how much I love astrology, so you can imagine I’m in heaven with this.  I can’t wait to teach you all of this and show you how to use mudra to negate negative influences in your chart.

Sat Nam Lovelies!!   Pamela

(btw...still have a cold, but Zant's weird rash is gone after a trip to the hospital and a huge needle in his buddhi!)