When other people make you feel like....

If you've spent time with me during the Elemental Cleanse or in yoga, you've heard me say that everything is a choice. The food you eat, the drink you drink, the people you surround yourself with and even how you feel. It is a choice to be sad, to be happy, to be flattered and to be criticized. I've said this so much, in fact, that I don't even put any effort, energy or thought into that teaching.

So the Universe decided I needed a refresher course.

I find myself in such an odd position lately. My ended engagement of last year lingers. In my own way of grief, I have distracted myself for the past six months by creating work. I've avoided. I've hid. I've been unresponsive. The lessons and pain of that parting so deep that my Soul simply needed to curl up for a rest. Coming up for air, I'm now having to deal with the messy reality of parting ways and that has, of course, opened my heart to the arrows of disappointment shot at another to ease suffering.

In the meantime, I've found myself at the beginning stage of romance. Words are soft, sweet and tender. It's a high of feel good energy.

These energies have merged. On the one hand, someone is telling you all your failings. On the other, someone is telling you your success. One minute you feel terrible about yourself. The next minute you feel like a goddess. Flipping in between these feelings that are so contrary, I had the most profound realization and it was...

I am.

A person's perception of me is based in their reality, but I am the same. There is nothing terrible about me nor do I have the magical powers of a goddess. It's simply another person's idea of me in their moment. I can choose what I feel. I can honor the pain of another without taking those words in. I can soak in the radiance of another and of course take that in. It's my choice to feel how I want to feel.

I am.

I think all of this is really a lesson in knowing yourself. Know who you are. When you begin your meditation practice, begin with the phrase, "Who am I?" Have some wonderful statements to say when you answer. I am......(smart, strong, powerful, joyful, light and love). Just let all those affirmations float out to the Universe and then go to your mantra...So Hum. So Hum means "I am."

Sat Nam (that means "truth is your identity") Pamela

responding

I received a very irate text message this morning. Irate is probably too nice of a word. It was sent with much malice. Apparently, I inverted my babysitter's phone number and have been texting an 87 year old man. He doesn't know how to text and it is driving him crazy. I'm assuming his daughter came to check on him this morning and he let her her have it.

My body responded with a flush of anger. I thought "How rude...obviously this is a mistake. Why would they be so rude?" I paused. I took a deep breath. I thought about this poor man who was probably given the cell phone by his daughter so he would always have help nearby. I thought about how overwhelming technology is to older people. I thought about the daughter who is probably stressed taking care of an aging parent. I thought about the text reminder beebing all night and probably keeping him from much needed rest.

I replied honestly, with a heartfelt apology and went back to my make-up. Some time passed and my phone beeped. The reply was "Thank you. That was very nice of you." In those moments when I paused and thought about what someone else was experiencing, I changed the situation and I probably changed her day and her thoughts about humanity, if only for a moment.

Always pause and consider what the other person is going through. It's okay to feel angry, but before you react give yourself time to respond instead. Take time to be compassionate, kind and understanding even when someone is nasty, rude or mean to you.

Acceptance

I have been very lucky to do my yoga and ayurvedic training through the Chopra Center for Wellbeing. It is a wonderful center and always feels like going home. Familiar faces, familiar smells and big hugs greet you. I love seeing Deepak. He is a wise, kind and compassionate man.

Every workshop I have attended includes a mental exercise with Dr. Chopra. He asks you to think of a person that you admire and write down five words that describe them. He then asks you to think of a person that you do not like and write down five words that describe them. He then asks you to draw a big circle and randomly place all of the words in the circle.

He calls on a person in the audience to stand up and read their list. When they finish reading their positive and negative words, Deepak always smiles and says "Nice to meet you." The theory is that everyone is a mirror of yourself. When you enjoy or detest a quality in someone, it is because they are activiting that in yourself. Of course, the person who has read their now very private list outloud is taken aback, but Deepak explains that he wouldn't want to know the person that has only the good or only the bad qualities. That person would be boring. All of your qualities combined make you interesting and make you human.

Deepak is a person who practices non-judgment and compassion. He simply observes your nature and accepts you. He has demonstrated this lately with his beautiful comments and discussion of his friend Michael Jackson. He enjoyed Michael. He didn't endorse or agree with Michaels choices or behavior, but he honored that Micheal, like you and I, are on our own journey and in our own play. He saw the good and the bad and was simply present with compassion and love.

Accept people as they are. Everyone has their stuff. It makes them interesting. Let Karma do the judging.