responding

I received a very irate text message this morning. Irate is probably too nice of a word. It was sent with much malice. Apparently, I inverted my babysitter's phone number and have been texting an 87 year old man. He doesn't know how to text and it is driving him crazy. I'm assuming his daughter came to check on him this morning and he let her her have it.

My body responded with a flush of anger. I thought "How rude...obviously this is a mistake. Why would they be so rude?" I paused. I took a deep breath. I thought about this poor man who was probably given the cell phone by his daughter so he would always have help nearby. I thought about how overwhelming technology is to older people. I thought about the daughter who is probably stressed taking care of an aging parent. I thought about the text reminder beebing all night and probably keeping him from much needed rest.

I replied honestly, with a heartfelt apology and went back to my make-up. Some time passed and my phone beeped. The reply was "Thank you. That was very nice of you." In those moments when I paused and thought about what someone else was experiencing, I changed the situation and I probably changed her day and her thoughts about humanity, if only for a moment.

Always pause and consider what the other person is going through. It's okay to feel angry, but before you react give yourself time to respond instead. Take time to be compassionate, kind and understanding even when someone is nasty, rude or mean to you.

Philosophy in Progress....Number 1

Principles to live by as decoded by Pamela Quinn.....normal average human on a journey.

Disclaimer: "I have personally tested all of my philosophies through years of research and living. They totally work without exception...for me. I highly recommend that you "fake it until you make it" until you develop your own personal philosophies. In the meantime, these do work and I give them to you to use freely and share with others."

Principle of achieving a life of happiness and purpose #1 (this title may change)

Give Thanks.

Okay, this is not a cop out. It really really works. (I know every spiritual book on the planet includes this step but I have actually tested it and proven it so it is not theoretical garbage). When you get up in the morning, give thanks for everything in your life. Give thanks for all the good stuff and the bad stuff too. Know that when bad things are happening it is simply the universe giving you a tiny nudge or a big huge push to choose a different path and make different choices. It is an opportunity to grow. Repeat this step nightly before bed.

True Love

I signed up on myspace. I'm also on facebook, linked in and all the other various forms of social media marketing. It's a "must" nowadays if you have a business or are in the business of selling. I'm still trying to figure out why it is a must, but I love my computer and writing so I'm in.

It's really fun. You get lots of interesting questions from all over the world. There is a boy from Africa who is a pen pal and a friend from S. Dakota. Ex-boyfriends keep in touch and people I went to school with find me. I love hearing about their lives.

Oddly, myspace is a little different. There are lots of requests for romance with long paragraphs on what the person is looking for in a partner. Many are looking for fun. Most are looking for love. I recently read that one in eight marriages are now started as on-line romances.

When I think of love and being in a committed relationship, I always go back to That Nich Hahn's beautiful book called "True Love". That Nich Hahn is a Zen Buddhist Monk. He writes beautifully and simply. In this book are the mantras for true love that I share with you now.

HOW TO LOVE:

1. Be there: Ask yourself, do I have time to love? Each day a little bit of time should be spent loving. Say to the person “I am here for you”

2. Recognize the presence of another.
Say to the person “I know that you are here and it makes me very happy.”

3. Be there when someone is suffering.
Say to the person, “I know that you are suffering and I am here for you.”

4. Overcoming pride.
Say to the person “I am suffering and I need your help”

Making this your daily practice enhances the experience of love. It honors the other person and they in turn honor you. It is magical and totally works. I practice this with my children and someday I will practice with my "true love". Good luck friends.

Insanity

I'm sailing a ship of insanity floating in a sea of tranquility. Come join me.

I'm slowly losing my mind. The more and more grounded, centered and clear I become, the more I simply float away. I find my days full of peace and dreaminess. Problems dissolve and solve themselves. I have time for everything and a wonderful kind of peace.

I am surrounded by the rest of the world which doesn't seem so peaceful and easy. People that talk too much and don't listen. People that are hostile and negative. I find that I don't want to be around them. I grow tired quickly in their presence. I'd rather sit quietly alone. I could become the hermit and live quite happily.

I'm sure I appear spaced out and disinterested as I engage in my daily activities and honestly I am. I can't stand exchanging pleasantries. It bores me. I just really want to know what is going on with you. What are you working on and how are you changing your life? Why do you stay with him or not quit that job? Why aren't you living with passion? I crave newness.

I feel time ticking away and I am driven to solve and help. I feel the intense drive to initiate change and I can't stand to see you stuck. Move.

Oddly, sitting still is the best way to move. Namaste

(I am reading Oriah's new book, "The Invitation". Chapter 1 gave me some weird permission to think these thoughts freely. Her passion and desperation for connection and change resonate with me.)

The Invitation

I first heard this poem entering a Shavasana. I didn't even realize it was a book until it literally fell off the shelf into my hands over the weekend. I haven't gotten past the poem, but I already know I will love the book. The author is Oriah and the book is called "The Invitation".

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, ifyou have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with the wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you cam to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

- Oriah.

Read the book with me. It's beautiful.

Namaste.

Uncertainty

I have a beautiful best friend who is truly the most optimistic and wonderful person I know. She is a Sagittarius through and through. I have seen her suffer more than anyone I know in the last four years. She has lost both parents to cancer, divorced, lost the family home and all of her possessions and switched jobs three times.

Now you might think she sounds like a wreck. She’s not. She was very present for her father’s death, she moved her mother in with her and nursed her through her cancer while going through her divorce, she is friendly toward her ex putting her child first, she gave her ex everything because she felt so bad for failing at her marriage, she took very little alimony and every job switch has landed her a better job.

She’s my hero.

She gets little sympathy from others because she always has a smile on her face. If you ask her how she is she will tell you the details of her life and spin it in a positive way. She lands on her feet.

I’ve seen her suffer. She and I do not share the same spiritual path. For me, its an obsession and passion. For her, she lives her life and knows Source watches over her. Lately, she has started asking the larger questions of life...why has all of this happened? why are people unkind and not understanding of my feelings? why?

I don’t know. I just know that every single day is a lesson. My philosophy is that when all the lessons of this life are learned, we let go. Each day I pray for more uncertainty than the day before. Each day I pray that Source brings me a new lesson. Today I pray that Source brings her a joyful lesson full of love. Out there in that field of possibilities lives an amazing life. You will have true love. You will have lazy carefree days. You will have peace and happiness. You will have joy.

Acceptance

I have been very lucky to do my yoga and ayurvedic training through the Chopra Center for Wellbeing. It is a wonderful center and always feels like going home. Familiar faces, familiar smells and big hugs greet you. I love seeing Deepak. He is a wise, kind and compassionate man.

Every workshop I have attended includes a mental exercise with Dr. Chopra. He asks you to think of a person that you admire and write down five words that describe them. He then asks you to think of a person that you do not like and write down five words that describe them. He then asks you to draw a big circle and randomly place all of the words in the circle.

He calls on a person in the audience to stand up and read their list. When they finish reading their positive and negative words, Deepak always smiles and says "Nice to meet you." The theory is that everyone is a mirror of yourself. When you enjoy or detest a quality in someone, it is because they are activiting that in yourself. Of course, the person who has read their now very private list outloud is taken aback, but Deepak explains that he wouldn't want to know the person that has only the good or only the bad qualities. That person would be boring. All of your qualities combined make you interesting and make you human.

Deepak is a person who practices non-judgment and compassion. He simply observes your nature and accepts you. He has demonstrated this lately with his beautiful comments and discussion of his friend Michael Jackson. He enjoyed Michael. He didn't endorse or agree with Michaels choices or behavior, but he honored that Micheal, like you and I, are on our own journey and in our own play. He saw the good and the bad and was simply present with compassion and love.

Accept people as they are. Everyone has their stuff. It makes them interesting. Let Karma do the judging.

Simple Routine for Health

Many people begin to explore the Ayurvedic lifestyle and quickly abandon it. It is loaded with lots of Sanskrit words and esoteric teachings. It seems complicated and confusing and not very practical. At Elemental OM, we've made it simple to apply to your contemporary life. It's about little changes that have a big impact.

The following is a simple life changing routine for living and eating that resonates with every element. Just incorporating a few of the suggestions below will begin the process of pulling every element back into balance. Once you see the amazing results that you achieve, you may want to move forward with balancing the specific element that you resonate with.

Just pick a few things that you can commit to!

Life Style

• Go to bed between 10 and 11 pm each night.
  
• Do not watch tv in bed. Read something inspirational and nice instead.
  
• When you go to bed each night, place a glass of water by your bed. Drink the room temperature water down as soon as you wake up each morning.
  
• Get out of bed between 6 and 7 am each morning.
  
• Say thank you for all the things in your life each morning... gratitude.
  
• Sit on the toilet after you drink your water and set the intention that you will eliminate. You may or may not. Do it every morning until your body learns that this is the time to go.
  
• Drink your morning beverage, coffee or tea, by a window, alone, in silence each morning. Just gaze at the trees, flowers or sky. Do this for 10 minutes.
  
• Eat 3 meals a day around the same time each day.
  
• Go for a small walk or sit quietly for a few minutes after each meal.
  
• When you are in your car, be silent. Keep the radio and phone off. Make this a sacred time for you to relax and veg out. Drive in the right lane and go with the flow.
  
• Do something you love ALONE each day. Read, paint, walk, run, sit, knit, write...

Enjoy! Visit www.elementalom.com to find out what element you resonate with!

Union

One of my yogis is recently engaged. She is young, beautiful and happily entering a new phase of her dharma. The next year will full of fun and excitement. I always think of Kahlil Gibran's beautiful discussion of marriage from his book "The Prophet" when I hear of a pending marriage. Gibran was born in Syria in the late 1800s and moved to the United States. His work was very popular in the 1960s and is making quite a comeback. Below is his writing on marriage:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
~ Gibran

I don't know why we need a partner. I have given much thought to this having divorced and finding myself single again. Spiritually there are discussions of soulmates, twin flames, and mirrors of yourself. Honestly though, there is just something magical about love. Watching my yogi glow as she shared her beautiful ring, I was struck by the perfection of union. Namaste.

What to read

People are always asking me what I am currently reading as I tend to take my studies into my yoga classes. At the present, I am focused on "The Thursday Night Tarot" by Jason C. Lotterhand. I'm loving it. It is simply put and makes tarot accessible for anyone regardless of where they are in their journey.

Lots of people believe Tarot is about predicting the future. While it can be used for that, this book is not about that. This book is about the spiritual journey that a person goes on in his search for enlightenment. Each card represents an Archetype that lives inside you in your subconscious and outside you in our culture. You begin with the Fool and work through the deck until you get to the World. When I say work, I mean you meditate and study each card. The universe does the rest.

The point is to learn about yourself. In his book, Lotterhand says: "The goal is to be yourself. It's hard to be something if you don't know what it is. The work is basically an attempt to explain ourself to ourselves. This means having detailed knowledge of yourself, not just in principle but in detail, with all the ins and outs." To me, this is yoga.

I'm still explaining myself to my myself. I learn and grow everyday. I enjoy surprising myself sometimes too.

Desire

Many spiritual purists claim that desire is a quality that should be controlled. They pray and meditate and practice to squash their desire failing to see that desire is what animates us. Because of God's desire to create, we have the Universe.

I have lived completely unconsciously following my desires around with ignorance. I have lived very consciously pushing desire aside until I had no more. I have found space and peace during this journey and it now occurs to me to desire again. This is truly the Wheel of Life in action.

The Wheel of Life is not truly a wheel, it is a spiral. As we grow spiritually, we spiral outward and become larger and larger. As we desire, we grow. As we release desire, we grow. We then must desire again to grow.

Sitting here on the porch of a beautiful beach house watching the waves play, I desire a beach house! I think I will put it on my intentions and desires list.

The suitcase at the top of the stairs

There is a suitcase at the top of my stairs. It has been there for a long long time waiting to unpack and go either to the basement or on another adventure. It has been sitting there since my last trip which was with a now ex-boyfriend to a wedding which we ended up not going to once we got there.....that's a whole other blog.

I don't know why I don't unpack it and put it away. It's in my way and I trip over it frequently. Sometimes if I get up late at night for a drink of water, the huddled mass at the top of my stairs scares me. I wish someone else would just put it away. Every time I see it, I have to think of this failed relationship which then makes me think of my failed relationship with my ex-husband.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to not have these people in my life anymore. There is a time and a season. That having been said, the relationship with an ex-husband is never finished if you have children. Somehow you have to move forward as a new and improved kind of contemporary family. My ex and I have not done this well. We simply ignore each other and text details related to kids, but we have not stayed friends. I thought we would.

This makes me sad. If your other half is simply a mirror or shadow of yourself, then what is my ex mirroring back to me. I will tell you he is cold, aloof and unforgiving. He has a need to be right. I have been cold, aloof and unforgiving. I have a need to be right.

What's in that bag at the top of the stairs? All the emotions of my lost marriage and more importantly of that lost friendship. I'm going to unzip that bag and let all those emotions of loss and grief out and then move that empty bag to the basement. Today I will just start with the outside pockets.

Acknowledging and embracing your emotions is the first step to letting go of attachment to them. It sounds like a little thing, but it is a huge step to healing. Just feel inside your body and let the emotions come. Label them, honor them and then let them go. Know that this is hard and sometimes painful. Know that you will feel better when it is done. Don't procrastinate.