In Memory of Tim Sullivan

Yogis,

Tim Sullivan has passed through after battling cancer. This is my wish for Tim and his wife Gina.

Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet.
 Let it not be a death but completeness.
 Let love melt into memory and pain into songs.
 Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings over the nest.
 Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the night.
 Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, and say your last words in silence.
 I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way.
 ~Rabindranath Tagore

Tim will be deeply missed. Om Shanti, Pamela

When other people make you feel like....

If you've spent time with me during the Elemental Cleanse or in yoga, you've heard me say that everything is a choice. The food you eat, the drink you drink, the people you surround yourself with and even how you feel. It is a choice to be sad, to be happy, to be flattered and to be criticized. I've said this so much, in fact, that I don't even put any effort, energy or thought into that teaching.

So the Universe decided I needed a refresher course.

I find myself in such an odd position lately. My ended engagement of last year lingers. In my own way of grief, I have distracted myself for the past six months by creating work. I've avoided. I've hid. I've been unresponsive. The lessons and pain of that parting so deep that my Soul simply needed to curl up for a rest. Coming up for air, I'm now having to deal with the messy reality of parting ways and that has, of course, opened my heart to the arrows of disappointment shot at another to ease suffering.

In the meantime, I've found myself at the beginning stage of romance. Words are soft, sweet and tender. It's a high of feel good energy.

These energies have merged. On the one hand, someone is telling you all your failings. On the other, someone is telling you your success. One minute you feel terrible about yourself. The next minute you feel like a goddess. Flipping in between these feelings that are so contrary, I had the most profound realization and it was...

I am.

A person's perception of me is based in their reality, but I am the same. There is nothing terrible about me nor do I have the magical powers of a goddess. It's simply another person's idea of me in their moment. I can choose what I feel. I can honor the pain of another without taking those words in. I can soak in the radiance of another and of course take that in. It's my choice to feel how I want to feel.

I am.

I think all of this is really a lesson in knowing yourself. Know who you are. When you begin your meditation practice, begin with the phrase, "Who am I?" Have some wonderful statements to say when you answer. I am......(smart, strong, powerful, joyful, light and love). Just let all those affirmations float out to the Universe and then go to your mantra...So Hum. So Hum means "I am."

Sat Nam (that means "truth is your identity") Pamela

I AM, the movie directed by Tom Shadyac

Last night I finally got to watch the movie "I am" directed by Tom Shadyac who is best known for his movies, "Ace Ventura" and "The Nutty Professor." The movie begins with Tom's personal journey into the unknown of spirituality that was the result of a debilitating and painful injury that left his perception of the world skewed. Part of his healing included going on a journey and interviewing some of the world's most profound spiritual leaders about what they think is wrong with our world and how they we as individuals can fix it.

It was a beautiful movie that offers much to think about including our current belief system, our financial system and the actual workings of nature. Scientists don't know why, but they have observed that that animals as a species rely more on cooperation and less on competition to survive. They participate in a seemless democracy that ensures the survival of their tribes.

Looking at our American tribe, we have forgotten this principle. Insane competition and greed have created a society of haves and have nots and therefore dysfunction and unhappiness. Americans suffer from loneliness more than any other culture. We place such esteem on job and financial gain not realizing that more and more is not making us happy. At some point, you simply have enough.

On an individual level each human is uniquely connected to all that is around them. Again, scientists don't know how or why, but our individual thoughts and emotions do effect the larger group. Your personal happiness increases the happiness of the world. Your personal suffering increases the world's suffering. The change agent for saving the planet and enhancing our culture is what we teach in yoga, to respond from your heart.

In any given moment you can drop into your heart center and ask if you are making the best choice for yourself, others and your planet. Your heart is more intelligent than the organ we call the brain and is more intuitively connected into the stream of consciousness connecting us all. Helping and serving others nourishes and heals not just your own heart, but the whole world.

As an experiment, I meditated this morning not with my internal focus on the brow chakra, but on the higher heart. It was fascinating. Try it.

For more about this great movie you should watch, visit here>>>

The pain of Kapha

I have a yogi who is suffering from arthritis. She is in great shape, comes to yoga regularly, watches her diet and has good health. Yet she is suffering through the aches and pains of arthritis and has tried many modalities to heal her situation. She is very resistant to my Cleanse and the process.

Anyway, in class a couple of weeks ago I was talking about the energy of Kapha. It's heavy and dense. Excess Kapha creates toxic sludge that settles deep in the joints and the fat cells. This creates inflammation and ultimately diseases like fybromyalgia, osteoporosis, arthritis, weight gain, obesity, depression and even cancer. This energy is very stable and slow moving. That means that it just wants to stay put. When you think of Kapha, think of a boulder sitting in the middle of a field that you want to move. You push and push and it just stays there. You continue to push and push and finally it moves. Once it gets moving, it doesn't want to stop. In fact, imagine that boulder sitting on a downhill slope. You would have to get out of it's way once it starts moving. That is actually the power of Kapha. It has stamina and momentum.

During the Cleanse, we use this energy to our advantage. Basically we ingest food, spices, hot teas, herbs and oils that uplift the energy of Kapha and then create a slippery slope for it to slide down. Once the settled Kapha starts moving, you really see results including the reduction of gas, bloating, aches, pains, headaches, skin conditions and emotional negativity. Now you are riding on a wave of energy that is releasing.

This is a process. First, we settle the Vata energy in our bodies and minds....racing thoughts, sleepless nights, inability to concentrate, minor aches and pains. That's Week 1. Week 2 begins to finish off Vata and address Pitta. Pitta is grumpiness and over exertion. It includes the skin conditions we suffer from as well as heartburn, indigestion and HBP. Week 3 is usually another Pitta week. Pitta is harder to shift than Vata and takes a wee bit longer. Week 4 is when we release Kapha.

At the end of Week 3 we participate in what can seem the "weird" process of oleation. This is creating that slippery slope for the toxicity to ooze out on. I make this "optional" because some people have fear around enemas. They are not as accepted in our culture as in the Indian culture. I wish I didn't have to make them optional though because it is such an amazing way to facilitate the release of Kapha and heal.

So back to my yogi....my conversation about Kapha struck a cord.

The email exchange between she and I started. She wants to Cleanse on her own. She doesn't want to actually take the Cleanse. Pages of emails later, I realize with such clarity that there is no way I can effectively take someone through a Cleanse via email and without about eight hours of time. That's because it is a methodology. It is a process. The Vata has to settle, the Pitta has to calm and only then can the Kapha release. Otherwise, the mini-cleanse becomes just another superficial process. Kapha is slow. It doesn't appear overnight and it can't reverse overnight. It is the densest of energies hidden under layers of Vata and Pitta.

I think she's going to Cleanse.

learn more about my Cleanse>>>

What happened?

oh my......

sigh.....

deep breath.....

Wowsie am I am out of balance. Think pitta fire head with madly suppressed road rage. I want to destroy the entire cosmos. Even the little birdie outside my window is annoying to me and I know he is looking at me in a critical fashion. He's probably pissed too. I haven't filled the bird feeder for weeks.

Can this serve as an open letter of apology to all who have crossed my path or do I really need to make 100 phone calls to say I'm sorry?

I hurt my shoulder. It's a good lesson buried underneath the pain about pushing limits and not having boundaries. I know I'm also growing from it as a yoga teacher and I'm grateful for that. That having been said, it hurts and I'm not sleeping. I'm also unable to do my usual yoga practice. I'm high energy and need a physical outlet every day. Pitta body needs to move and express and get the Rajistic heat out. If it doesn't come out, it goes to your head in the form of impatience, anger, being critical or if you are like me you simply totally lose it all at once leaving a path of destruction in your wake. Think Durga Ma here, 5 of 6 arms in a sling.

I'm human I remind myself.

The pitta in my mind reminds me that there is a way to get back to balance and I intend to implement immediately before I kill that judgmental birdie. Here is my top 10 list:

1. go for a walk when you can't yoga.
2. seek out fish tank and meditatively stare at that little adorable guy. imagine being a fish.
3. drink some cold peppermint tea.
4. take a nap.
5. accept that meditation is not a gift you will receive on this day and lay down with legs up on the wall instead.
6. accept that all mantra will turn into some angry discussion in your head and put on some nice music instead...ocean sounds are the best.
7. make life easier. tell kids they are not running to and fro tonight. order a pizza. watch a movie with the rest of the planet. pick a funny one and laugh.
8. break down and take an ibuprofen. God invented that too, right? double up on neem to counter harm ibupofren does to liver.
9. call your mom. they love to take care of you when you hurt.
10. say your prayers before you go beddy bye and turn troubles over to God.


I do love you guys underneath this monster suit. Shanti, Pamela