What is yoga?

I'm in Salt Springs, Florida hanging out at the Amrit Yoga Institute for a few days.  It's a chance to observe their teacher training program and learn about Amrit Yoga from Desei Amrit, affectionately know as Guru Dev.  He is truly one of the last living Yogi Masters and it is a true blessing and honor to sit in his presence. 

Today he talked about Yoga and what it really is.  We tend to think of Yoga as this physical practice of becoming strong, lean and flexible.  Certainly, yoga postures are part of yoga, but yoga is much more than that.  As Guru Dev said, yoga brings spirituality into practicality.  It is a system or a technology that allows a person to feel harmony, inner balance, unification and most importantly integration.  It is a way in which you learn to disconnect from what you are not, and connect to what you are, a soul.  

What are you not?  That's a good question.  You are not your name, your occupation, your house, your body or your mind.  You are that quiet place in you that can observe all of those things.  For a moment, just sit with your eyes closed and notice your thoughts.  Just watch them.  Thoughts are simply fluctuations of the brain.  If you can watch them, who is watching?  That's the real you.  The silent witness that observes and does sometime participate in this drama.  This part of you is a constant.  It doesn't change.  It is eternal.  It is Soul.

The reason that you suffer in life is because you have become detached from Soul.  You think that you are your name, your occupation, your house, your body and your mind.  Anytime anything doesn't go right with one of those, you become unhappy and suffer.  You suffer because you are unable to sit with the fluctuation.  For example, on a typical day you make dinner.  This may be something that you enjoy doing.  On some days, however, you are tired or in a hurry.  Making dinner gives you no pleasure and you become resentful that you are the only one who cooks.  You wish your partner or children would help.  This makes you angry and bitter. (It also makes the food angry and bitter so be careful!)  The fact that you make dinner didn't change.  It's just your attitude around making dinner that changed and made you unhappy. 

The physical practice of yoga on your mat is a safe place for you to begin to notice the fluctuations in your mind and cultivate the ability to take that practice off of your mat.  In Hatha Yoga, you get into a pose, you hold it.  You hold it for a long time.  It's uncomfortable.  Your mind will start to tell you a story.  Mostly it's telling you that you can't do something, that you are out of shape, or that the person next to you looks better than you.  You pause, you realize that that is just a story.  You feel the sensations of the pose and you realize that is just a story too.  Your mind goes quiet and you connect.  Back to our dinner example, you would realize that you are just having uncomfortable thoughts that are changing your experience of making dinner which usually makes you happy and doesn't have to make you unhappy.

Do you have to do yoga to have this experience?  No.  Lots of people run, clean or paint and end up in the exact same place.  Yoga is simply a directed approach to making spirituality accessible in your daily life.

Om Shanti,  Pamela

Conversation with God

I few days ago some of my students and I were talking after class and the question of spirit and ultimately the question of faith came up. They wanted to understand how I could have such a certainty that there exists a spirit that is truly an interactive part of my life.

My realization of spirit really began around the age of 13 when my father moved away from the family home. My sister had also moved away which left my mother and I on our own. My mother suffered greatly through her divorce and although she meant well for me, I found myself alone a lot. I found solace in my school work and after school jobs, but I was a lonely kid. I had few friends. Something about having a sister, a father and finally an extended family leave you as a child makes you a little shy to reach out to others. There’s always a sense that they will leave you.

I remember going to bed one night very sad. I laid in my bed crying and wishing that everything would go back to normal. I also remember being grateful that my dad was gone and that made me feel guilty. He drank a lot and could be very dark. Feeling lonely, I pulled my blankets tight around me and pretended that the hands of God were wrapped around me. In the embrace of that blanket, I felt spirit. I just felt calm and certain that everything was just as it should be. I felt that I wasn’t alone. I felt comforted. I also felt that larger forces were at play and that my life was going to be friggin’ awesome.

It was really that simple for me. Since then, I’ve had a dialogue with spirit that has deepened with my Yoga practice and my Meditation. I don’t see Angels or auras and God forbid I ever see a gnome or fairy because that’s going to freak me out. I do find that spirit speaks to me syncronistically through poetry, songs and books. I tend to meet the right people at the right time. I tend to know what other people are feeling and have a gift for saying the right things. All of this I attribute to spirit. It’s a simple quiet relationship.

My recommendation for starting your relationship with spirit would be to simply start talking. It will feel funny at first. Give God a personality and just start sharing. My God is old and wise and thinks it’s funny when I cuss him out. You will be surprised when you realize it’s a two way conversation.

Do you need Spirituality?

I went and saw a Spiritual Master named Panache Desei last Friday. I thought it was a lecture, but it ended up a lecture with an energetic healing at the end. To be honest, I didn’t want to stay because (1) I didn’t know what I was getting into, (2) I don’t like people in my energy that I don’t know and (3) I’m quite sick of being healed....I’m done...cooked.

I stayed though. Panache was quite worked up. I can’t tell you why, but something must have happened the evening before in Kentucky that left him fired up. His message was simple and clear, “You don’t need spirituality. You have everything you ever need inside of you. You are perfect just the way you are. Please go home and be happy and know that you are perfect and never attend a spiritual function ever again. You don’t need healed. There is nothing to heal. Go home.” Wow or Ouch. I don’t know.

I liked what he had to say because I frequently have those same thoughts. I look at my yogis and see how marvelous they are and I wish that they could just embrace what they are suffering through and move forward. It is true that if you put your attention on your suffering, your suffering will go away. I always recommend that you put all of your attention for a long period of time on only that suffering to make it go away faster. My theory is that you will become bored by it and move on. The problem with what Panache was saying is that he is missing the critical step of KNOWING to put your attention on your suffering. You must be given tools to grow and that is why you need spirituality. The tools I give are meditation, yoga, present moment awareness and mindfulness. You can get other tools at church, at temple, through books and at other groups. You need tools because you don’t know. You need spirituality. You are perfect just the way you are. Everything is as it is meant to be, but sometimes you need someone to tell you or remind you.

This led me to ask myself the question of why I ended up at that event on Friday night. I ended up there because I need to refill my cup sometimes. I have the tools. I’ve been doing this for awhile. While I still suffer just like everyone, I have tools that allow me to quickly move through it and to quite honestly, avoid a lot of it. I simply need to sit in the presence of a Master or Holy person and soak them up sometimes. It motivates me to continue on this path. It’s like going to a support group or something.

I didn’t get motivated by Panache. I kind of got sad. I started wondering what I am doing all of this for. I could sense his frustration that people weren’t doing their work and people weren’t changing or growing. I know that feeling because I get it sometimes too. He seemed defeated and that left me soaking up his defeatedness...is that a word? My thoughts turned to how easy it would be to just move back to the corporate world. I’d make tons of money, have a secure job and actually have a retirement plan. I sent out a few life lines to my support circle and they tethered me back to my purpose. I’m doing this because I have to. It’s my life’s purpose. It’s my love and my joy. This little building in Lebanon Ohio is my heart, my soul and my temple. Is that spirituality?

I’ve always had a thing for cardinals. When I see one, I feel that it is a communication from spirit. I picked a cardinal well because they are abundant, easy to see and stay around all year. That means that I can believe that spirit is always talking to me through those little guys. I see them in my yard daily. Today, as I drove to the studio, I saw a cardinal sitting in the middle of the road. That little guy wasn’t moving out of my way either. I slammed on my breaks, everything in my car flew forward and my daughter and I got out. He just sat there. I picked him up to move him to the field. He was so soft and sweet. His wings flapped fine and his tail feathers were intact. I couldn’t see anything wrong with him. He seemed small, so perhaps he was a baby just learning to fly....I don’t know. I set him down and he chirped. I got back in my car.

As I drove away, it occurred to me that that little representation of spirit needed me. Spirit needs me. I don’t need spirituality, spirituality needs me. It needs me to be some beacon of light, hope and motivation in this crazy world where we have to be reminded that we are perfect just the way we are. We are the eyes and ears of spirit and we are needed. Spirit needs you to be a beacon of light as well.

Now get your buddhi to yoga because I need you too!