I've returned from my weekend getaway to experience Yoga Nidra (IREST) with Dr. Richard Miller. It was a profound weekend on many levels. First, I really needed a forced rest and second, I've been at a Spiritual crossroad for the past 6 months or so and was getting really really frustrated. My yoga hasn't felt right. My meditations have been forced. I haven't learned anything or heard anything new for months and months and you guys know how much I read....
I've been smiling a little less lately. I hate to admit it because I want to be a beacon of light for all of you. I want to lead by example. It's very important to me. This is what has happened to me. I reached the point of spiritual growth where you want to run off to an Ashram and renounce the world. I haven't been able to break through that feeling and I've been acting on it by slowing pushing it all away. I've been desperately reading, learning and searching to find the bridge that allows me to stay in my world which I love and not run off. However, the lure of solitude and quiet has made the activity of my current life unbearable. I was coming to the conclusion that all of this is a bunch of garbage unless you live in an Ashram. Kids, family, pets, cars, phones and jobs.....oh my. It's not sustainable. It's too much work.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret that practicing yogis, gurus, clergymen, saints and nuns don't tell you. Your journey never ends. Not only does it never end, it starts over again and again where ever you are. The "where ever you are" feels a lot like the first time you started, just different surroundings. What does that mean? It means you are living on a wheel that just keeps spinning. The best you can do on your path is to spin out in a more compassionate manner. When I speak of compassion here, I'm speaking about the compassion that you show to yourself. There isn't a font bold or big enough for that last sentence...compassion that you show to yourself.
This is an important piece of spiritual growth because we have the belief that as we heal our lives and grow, our problems will not only go away, but we won't have any more problems. This simply isn't true. Karma is working its way through your life and you will be met again and again with all kinds of challenges that you must resolve. What's the point otherwise? We are here to learn and grow. We are here to greet the challenges of our life. Your spiritual connection will allow you to do this with a smile on your face.
This weekend I found my smile. I don't have to run off. I can have it all. I feel giddy and present now. What's the secret? The secret is to simply be...to practice being. To just BE here. BE HERE. Be. The secret is to look at the world with new eyes in every moment. To be amazed at the people and objects around you. To engage with joy and love. To feel your emotions and embrace your duality. Now I know that sounds like a bunch of crap. BE. Be Happy. Be present. That's not a new concept. You are right. It's not a new concept. The problem is that you need a practice for learning how to BE.
Yoga Nidra is that practice for me. Yoga Nidra truly teaches you to embrace your duality and accept things as they are. Yoga Nidra teaches you to be expansive and yet small. It teaches you to meet your negatives with your positives and find a neutral playing field that we refer to as happiness. Do I sound drunk? Amazingly, that's how I feel. My practice is going to change dynamically. I am going to meditate because I love it. I am going to do yoga because it makes me feel so good and I love it. I am going to practice Yoga Nidra because it is teaching me how to BE. I love this feeling of being drunk.
The Lover is ever drunk with Love.
He is mad,
she is free.
He sings with delight,
she dances with ecstasy.
Caught by our own thoughts,
we worry about everything.
But once we get drunk on that Love
whatever will be, will be. ~ Rumi
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