I'm a hard ass. Just ask my mom. I'd like to blame it on a hard ass father or a nasty Saturn placement (conjunct Venus in the 2nd house...ouchie), but I think there must be more to it than that. (Think HUGE personality flaw here).
Today I got on my nerves. You see the Grand Opening Party of Montgomery is tomorrow night. That's kind of a big deal for me. I've worked my A## off for the past two months...think 16 hour days...7 days a week...1 inch long hair on my legs....On top of all of that, I've got my sales tax reconciled and filed, I paid my bills, my kid is performing a solo in the jazz concert tonight at school and I'm cooking yummy Ayurvedic dishes for the party...which I love to do... so I should be buzzing around like a butterfly.
I'm not. I'm thinking about all the stuff that I have to do. I'm thinking about how far I have to go to succeed in this ridiculous industry of spiritual health to pay my mortgage. Energy is zapped. Total zero. I've meditated twice today. I'm now taking Ashwagandha. I'm practicing my yoga, but I realize that I'm lacking joy. I know I will come back to balance with a little effort, but I'm tired. It's that simple. I'm just tired. All the extras of life have become hard (including listening to a glorious 11 year old girl tell me about her day)...shame on me.
Oddly, 95% of my cleansing participants who started with me on Tuesday are Fire Imbalance (pitta high) due to work. (I love the universe..it always sends me what I need). Bam! Just like that...in your face...how are you going to tell these people how to balance if you are not solving this problem on your own.
Back to me the hard ass...I'm always telling to do your work. Yoga, meditate, pray, make good food choices. You know what I forget to tell you? Do your work with joy. There are 24 hours in a day (less after the earthquake in Chile this summer that knocked our axis out of whack). That's it. If you live to be 90 you will have about 800,000 hours of life. It just doesn't seem like much. Further, I don't remember most of the hours I've already had. Why on earth wouldn't I have some joy in this moment. Dusk, doggies at my feet, kitchen smells heavenly, daughter laughing in the background...gratitude. peaceful. sweet. gratitude. Get er done (God said). I'm gettin er done.
A subtle shift. I still got a ton of sh#t to do. It will get done. It will get done with a smile...or else I won't do it. (that's my new deal with the Universe).
My message is still the same. Do your work. I'm first hand realizing too, that if you drive yourself so hard out of balance, it IS work to come back. Do your work...with joy. I'm coming back! Join me in a life of sanity. (sorry...I meant total insanity..it's more fun)
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