Holiday Blues....

Sigh...the holidays.



We all have this dreamy picture of family and friends celebrating. Glasses of champagne, gourmet food, hugs and wonderful conversation abound. Of course we look and feel fantastic!



ugg...the holidays.



The truth of the holidays is that they can make you feel like crud. It is a time of intense loneliness, sadness and stress for many. Believe me, I know the drill. My inner family is divorced and my larger family estranged. I also find myself this year without relationship and still coming up for air from the grieving process having ended my engagement.



The plans for this year were to include a celebration with a fiance, children and my larger family. The reality turned out much different. It really got me to thinking about all the other people that will find themselves a little lonely this holiday. If you know me, I'm not one to sit back and let life happen. I came up with a bold plan to mitigate my misery on Tday eve when I find myself alone and I think it will work for you too if you find yourself on your own.




The dream:
My dream would be to have a party with all of my local friends and kids and eat Italian. I don't know why Italian. Champagne would flow (sparkly apple juice for me). I think we would play charades. Of course someone would take to my piano and I'm pretty sure we would sing xmas carols. Everyone would be dressed in white. It would snow unexpectedly and we would take to the yard for a snow ball fight that would turn into a big football game...all the neighbors would join....snow fairies and magical elves would appear. We'd finally have world peace.



The reality:
I'm on my own. Kids are at their dads. Friends are probably busy with their family and friends (I know, I know...I've been through this before TRUST me...they are busy).



New dream: Go to yoga during the day. Give myself the treat of getting my nails done after. Hit the grocery store and enjoy the chaos of everyone's pre tday shopping. I've got my own shopping to do because I'm going to try to make an exotic dessert (from tofu) and lord knows what else I'll come up with. Drop off my groceries, grab the doggies and hit the bike trail for a long fall walk letting my mind wander and dream for the future. Decorate the outside of the house for xmas. Turn up up the tunes and start cooking. Make some popcorn, watch a holiday movie and I'm off to bed. Not a bad night. I'm looking forward to it and having fun finding recipes and shopping for xmas decorations.



Thanksgiving does find me with children and family and I'm grateful for that.



If you find yourself alone for any of this holiday season, make a plan. If your plan is to be alone, then empower yourself to take charge and turn it into a healing and fun event for yourself. My dream is intact. Next year, party is at my house! Mark your calendar and go buy a white outfit. Pray for snow.


(p.s. you are never really alone. I realize that's a bit to esoteric for this post though.)