Day 12….
Well today we did 5 kriyas that were really really hard. Imagine going to 5 Kundalini classes not for beginners. Needless to say I’m tired.
At one point, Guru Dharan forgot to tell us to let out our breath. We all nearly passed out.
I’ve been singing AC/DC’s Back in Black all day in my head….
sleep
Day 13
This was the most awesome day that ever was. We did Sat Kriya for 62 minutes and I did it!!!! That’s when you sit in rock pose (sitting on your heels), bring your arms up, interlace the fingers and the pointer finger (Jupiter fingers) are pointing up. You breath in Sat and out Nam pulling the belly in and up pretty intensely. It was insane and so beautiful to do with 130 other humans.
I wanted to quit, but I knew that taking my arms down would hurt just as much as keeping them up. I wanted to quit, but all the voices of the people around me carried me through. The Nam gets really soft and it sounds like a heart beat carrying the whole group. I wish you were there with me.
I’m learning so much and can’t wait to share. Guru Dharan said today that the mind is in the blood and the heartbeat stamps your consciousness. We talked about food and purify the body. We are eating only Ayurvedic and organic food. It isn’t truly Indian style. If you’ve worked with me you would recognize a lot of the dishes especially the dahl. Now that we have hit the midway point, they are starting to feed up much lighter and lighter as we deepen our detoxification process. This whole program is so cool.
Spiritually…wowsie. Yesterday, I really and finally understood Sat Nam. Sat Nam means “I am God.” I am who I am looking for. I am God. You are God. All this is God. That’s all there is. This. Today in meditation I was struck by how precious it is to be human and by how it is a great responsibility to be human. It made me feel very humble.
Deeply missing all of you. Sat Nam sweet souls, Pamela
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Kudalini Teacher Training Day 11
It’s day 11. My severe head cold moved to the nose yesterday and down to the chest today. This is a total improvement and I feel so much better. The sun is out pretty consistently now by 9 am. (It is freezing and you can see your breath at 3:30 am though.) That means that the days are glorious. I can’t really tell you what happened other than that, but I am slowly falling in love with India. I doubt I’ll ever get over the cow poop everywhere, but I just adore the cows. There’s six of them on my way from the hotel to the yoga tent and I’m slowly naming them. Tyler is my favorite.
Kundalini today was just awesome. I can’t get over the quality of teachers. Each one is a professor of this or that and most have written books. Today we learned about the ten bodies, a concept found only in Kundalini yoga. It’s a beautiful way to look at the quality of the mind. I can’t wait to share it with you when I return. We had an entire morning of numerology and I will have a workshop on that and how it reveals your gifts, your challenges, and your life’s purpose. I want to teach you which body to activate using your numerology. It’s incredibly insightful.
My destiny is an 11 and that is a teacher of teachers. It means infinity and the ability to attune to the divine and see truth for all. Bringing balance to this number is the practice of reciting the words of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. This is a 1400+ page text that was handed down from Guru to Guru in the Sikh tradition. It’s pretty much all of yoga. During morning practice or Sadhana we recite for 27 minutes mantra called Japji Sahib. It’s 40 phrases summing up the 1400 page text. I just LOVE it. I’m fascinated with the phrases and meaning. Here is a phrase for you:
Virtue and vice do not come by mere words;
Actions repeated, over and over again, are engraved on the soul.
You shall harvest what you plant.
Of course that is speaking to Karma. Yesterday Anand Boding, yogi and astrologer, who is just brilliant spoke about Karma in a way that I just totally had one of those moments. He gave the example of a little boy born in a slum. This little boy has the probability of having a very hard life. He also has the possibility of not having a hard life. By virtue of the sum choices we make collectively as a society, the field of probably narrows and most likely he will have a hard life in the slums. This is regardless of the fact that there is enough food to feed the whole world, enough medicine to treat the whole world, and enough people who would love to adopt little boys from the slums. If each and every one of us were to simply get up with the attitude of helping and serving, the karma….his karma…would change. He isn’t doomed. We collectively doom him.
I cried when I heard him say that.
Kundalini today was just awesome. I can’t get over the quality of teachers. Each one is a professor of this or that and most have written books. Today we learned about the ten bodies, a concept found only in Kundalini yoga. It’s a beautiful way to look at the quality of the mind. I can’t wait to share it with you when I return. We had an entire morning of numerology and I will have a workshop on that and how it reveals your gifts, your challenges, and your life’s purpose. I want to teach you which body to activate using your numerology. It’s incredibly insightful.
My destiny is an 11 and that is a teacher of teachers. It means infinity and the ability to attune to the divine and see truth for all. Bringing balance to this number is the practice of reciting the words of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. This is a 1400+ page text that was handed down from Guru to Guru in the Sikh tradition. It’s pretty much all of yoga. During morning practice or Sadhana we recite for 27 minutes mantra called Japji Sahib. It’s 40 phrases summing up the 1400 page text. I just LOVE it. I’m fascinated with the phrases and meaning. Here is a phrase for you:
Virtue and vice do not come by mere words;
Actions repeated, over and over again, are engraved on the soul.
You shall harvest what you plant.
Of course that is speaking to Karma. Yesterday Anand Boding, yogi and astrologer, who is just brilliant spoke about Karma in a way that I just totally had one of those moments. He gave the example of a little boy born in a slum. This little boy has the probability of having a very hard life. He also has the possibility of not having a hard life. By virtue of the sum choices we make collectively as a society, the field of probably narrows and most likely he will have a hard life in the slums. This is regardless of the fact that there is enough food to feed the whole world, enough medicine to treat the whole world, and enough people who would love to adopt little boys from the slums. If each and every one of us were to simply get up with the attitude of helping and serving, the karma….his karma…would change. He isn’t doomed. We collectively doom him.
I cried when I heard him say that.
Monday, February 11, 2013
It’s the 9th of February and thus the 9th day of Kundalini Teacher Training. My brain must be coming on a bit because I’ve finally figured out that if you start something on the first of the month, then the day you are on is the day of the month. Welcome to insanity.
Day 9 was a rough one. I have a severe head cold and sinus infection now. Please don’t think I’m a total wimp, most of the now 127 (3 have dropped out that I’m aware of) have been cycling through some illness or another. I do feel like a wimp as my pranayama is non existent and I can’t put my head down in any of the poses without severe pounding to my temple. The bottom line is if you don’t do the kriya, pranayama, and meditation, I don’t think any of this yoga stuff works. I’m counting on the 126 other humans in the room to carry me at this point. The fun part of being sick is going to an Ayurvedic physician and taking all kinds of super awesome herbs that I don’t even know the names of. I’m on a rejuvenate and some sticky syrup that the ladies pour into a small cup for me each morning.
Of course my reason for coming is to learn how to teach Kundalini yoga so that I can teach all of you. Of course as a human, I got some work to do on a personal level too. I’ve hit an emotional wall and had the lovely synchronistic pleasure of opening Facebook to my dear friend Sat Siri’s post. It said the following and is just what I needed to hear….
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
(Wendell Berry, 1934 - )
Day 9 was a rough one. I have a severe head cold and sinus infection now. Please don’t think I’m a total wimp, most of the now 127 (3 have dropped out that I’m aware of) have been cycling through some illness or another. I do feel like a wimp as my pranayama is non existent and I can’t put my head down in any of the poses without severe pounding to my temple. The bottom line is if you don’t do the kriya, pranayama, and meditation, I don’t think any of this yoga stuff works. I’m counting on the 126 other humans in the room to carry me at this point. The fun part of being sick is going to an Ayurvedic physician and taking all kinds of super awesome herbs that I don’t even know the names of. I’m on a rejuvenate and some sticky syrup that the ladies pour into a small cup for me each morning.
Of course my reason for coming is to learn how to teach Kundalini yoga so that I can teach all of you. Of course as a human, I got some work to do on a personal level too. I’ve hit an emotional wall and had the lovely synchronistic pleasure of opening Facebook to my dear friend Sat Siri’s post. It said the following and is just what I needed to hear….
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
(Wendell Berry, 1934 - )
Sunday, February 10, 2013
The Breath Walk
Today was a great day. We did a “breath walk” through the hills of Rishikesh overlooking the Ganges. I can’t wait to teach this to all of you. Basically, you simply walk and do “SA TA NA MA” on your fingers as you walk. Many of you who have worked with me know this mantra. It’s basically a break down of Sat Nam which means “truth is my identity.” It was absolutely lovely and very interesting to walk down into Rishikesh and get to see how people who live here actually live.
Most of the houses are quite small. They make them out of a red brick that doesn’t appear very sturdy. The houses are never quite finished. It would appear that they intend to add floors to the small structures only it is hit or miss. Most of the homes are open to the elements. People sleep on low wooden beds that they move in and out of the house. They use a very thin mattress. Cows, dogs, cats, and of course the monkeys seem to come and go. Everyone loves the cows very much. They have feeding troughs and it does appear that people do take the time and effort to feed them and care for them. Now that I’ve gotten to walk past the cows and the babies all week, a part of me can’t imagine that I ever ate one of them. They are sweet animals.
Monkeys…not so sweet. The dining tent is up and running again after mostly being torn down by the storms. The monkeys find holes in the seams of the fabric and are constantly poking heads, arms, and legs through. When the coast is clear they run in really quick and grab fruit for the most part, although I watched one of them this evening casually walk up to another yogi and take her bread out of her hand.
The practices today weren’t so tough…Wahe Guru! (that means thank you God it’s awesome). (( I’m learning Gurmukhe…it’s a language and I’m probably spelling it wrong). I’m sore everywhere and of course still sick with this cold that is now a runny drippy mess accompanied by a dull thead in the head. I’ve been wondering why the physical practices have to be so hard. I got my answer from Nirvair Kaur. She said that in Kundalini, you build the body up to withstand the stresses of life and to be able to accommodate the frequency of the Kundalini energy as it awakens. Very cool.
Well, It’s 7:39. I need to do my homework and get to sleep for my 3:30 am alarm.
Missing all of you at home. Missing Ohio. Missing America and feeling very blessed to live in such a beautiful and rich country. Everyone always has told me that I don’t know how good we got it in America. I know what they are talking about now. Om, Pamela
Most of the houses are quite small. They make them out of a red brick that doesn’t appear very sturdy. The houses are never quite finished. It would appear that they intend to add floors to the small structures only it is hit or miss. Most of the homes are open to the elements. People sleep on low wooden beds that they move in and out of the house. They use a very thin mattress. Cows, dogs, cats, and of course the monkeys seem to come and go. Everyone loves the cows very much. They have feeding troughs and it does appear that people do take the time and effort to feed them and care for them. Now that I’ve gotten to walk past the cows and the babies all week, a part of me can’t imagine that I ever ate one of them. They are sweet animals.
Monkeys…not so sweet. The dining tent is up and running again after mostly being torn down by the storms. The monkeys find holes in the seams of the fabric and are constantly poking heads, arms, and legs through. When the coast is clear they run in really quick and grab fruit for the most part, although I watched one of them this evening casually walk up to another yogi and take her bread out of her hand.
The practices today weren’t so tough…Wahe Guru! (that means thank you God it’s awesome). (( I’m learning Gurmukhe…it’s a language and I’m probably spelling it wrong). I’m sore everywhere and of course still sick with this cold that is now a runny drippy mess accompanied by a dull thead in the head. I’ve been wondering why the physical practices have to be so hard. I got my answer from Nirvair Kaur. She said that in Kundalini, you build the body up to withstand the stresses of life and to be able to accommodate the frequency of the Kundalini energy as it awakens. Very cool.
Well, It’s 7:39. I need to do my homework and get to sleep for my 3:30 am alarm.
Missing all of you at home. Missing Ohio. Missing America and feeling very blessed to live in such a beautiful and rich country. Everyone always has told me that I don’t know how good we got it in America. I know what they are talking about now. Om, Pamela
Saturday, February 9, 2013
The Sun Came Out
Today was a great day. I think moving to a hotel and sleeping in until 6 am was key to recovery. Throat is still sore and had a slight fever today along with 1/2 of the other teachers in training here, but I think I’m going to make a quick turn around. Back to the 3:30 am routine tomorrow. It is expected that we attend all Sadhanas (morning practices) unless we are sick.
The sun finally came out and everyone got really happy.
We had super awesome teachers today, Nirvair Kaur and her husband Guru Nirvair. I’m probably spelling the name wrong. Apparently, if Yogi Bhajan decided you were a couple, then you somehow took that same name. They have videos and Guru Nivair is in charge of the Kundalini Research Institute. If you google KRI.org (i think) you will find a ton of Kriyas and meditations there. They, like Gurmukh and Guru Shabhd who are leading this, grew up with Yogi Bhajan. They had awesome stories about back in the day which I’ll share with you when I get home.
One thing that I loved that they did today is we went through a kriya (designated set of postures designed to cause a specific effect) and at each posture, we stopped to feel what was really going on in the body. Try it. Ask yourself what glands and organs are being stimulated by a posture. See if you can’t feel the energy changing as the postures change. It was really insightful. Kundalini is called the Yoga of Awareness. It’s referred to as a technology and at this teacher training, they are stressing that they can only give us the knowledge, but we must find the wisdom through our own experience.
Another thing I’m loving is the total integration of the classroom. You move as a unit. Even if the teacher is incorrect, you simply do what they say and always keep your mind innocent and student-like. When chanting mantra, you join the group’s speed and simply submit to the energy. When you can’t hold your arms up anymore, you simply put them down and let the energy of the group carry you. It’s a lovely way to surrender. There are 129 of us and I am actually getting to know everyone. I didn’t think that would be possible. It’s so fun.
One funny thing did happen today. We all walked in silence with Gurmukh at the end of the day to the Ganges River and a huge statue of Shiva where you can imagine the tourist gather like crazy. Of course 129 of us are dressed in white, barefoot, and silent. We became the tourist attraction with people taking video and pictures of our meditation. Weird.
The sun finally came out and everyone got really happy.
We had super awesome teachers today, Nirvair Kaur and her husband Guru Nirvair. I’m probably spelling the name wrong. Apparently, if Yogi Bhajan decided you were a couple, then you somehow took that same name. They have videos and Guru Nivair is in charge of the Kundalini Research Institute. If you google KRI.org (i think) you will find a ton of Kriyas and meditations there. They, like Gurmukh and Guru Shabhd who are leading this, grew up with Yogi Bhajan. They had awesome stories about back in the day which I’ll share with you when I get home.
One thing that I loved that they did today is we went through a kriya (designated set of postures designed to cause a specific effect) and at each posture, we stopped to feel what was really going on in the body. Try it. Ask yourself what glands and organs are being stimulated by a posture. See if you can’t feel the energy changing as the postures change. It was really insightful. Kundalini is called the Yoga of Awareness. It’s referred to as a technology and at this teacher training, they are stressing that they can only give us the knowledge, but we must find the wisdom through our own experience.
Another thing I’m loving is the total integration of the classroom. You move as a unit. Even if the teacher is incorrect, you simply do what they say and always keep your mind innocent and student-like. When chanting mantra, you join the group’s speed and simply submit to the energy. When you can’t hold your arms up anymore, you simply put them down and let the energy of the group carry you. It’s a lovely way to surrender. There are 129 of us and I am actually getting to know everyone. I didn’t think that would be possible. It’s so fun.
One funny thing did happen today. We all walked in silence with Gurmukh at the end of the day to the Ganges River and a huge statue of Shiva where you can imagine the tourist gather like crazy. Of course 129 of us are dressed in white, barefoot, and silent. We became the tourist attraction with people taking video and pictures of our meditation. Weird.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Enough Complaining Though.....
It’s 6:30 pm here in Rishikesh, India. I’m sitting in my new bed at the Nirvana Hotel. Zant and I totally wimped out of the Ashram life along with every other person over the age of 40 and employed. It was just terrible and we, along with everyone else, were getting sick from the deplorable conditions and the inability to sleep. We’ve had horrible rains that are not the norm making our dingy and damp cell even more dingy and damp. Yoga as well as dining is from 3:30 am to 5:30 pm, in tents, that are torn from the winds and leaking.
Enough complaining though. It’s day 6 I believe and we’ve been told if we can make it through day 7, we will make it. The Kundalini yoga is intense (and in tents…that’s supposed to be funny. I’m delirious…humor me). I can honestly say I’ve never worked so hard in all of my life. I think a marine would have the same thing to say. It’s just brutal and most folks are sore and injured on some level. Zant’s lower back is killing him and he is off to the Ayurvedic doctor tonight with a swollen lymph node and to get something to sleep. With the exception of a now prolapsed uterus (it doesn’t like too much intense stuff like squatting up and down nonstop for 15 minutes), constipation, looking like I’ve aged 10 years, and overall exhaustion, I’m doing great.
They keep telling us the Kundalini is working. I keep asking what crime against humanity did I commit to commit myself here.
Enough complaining though…..
Spiritually? hmmm. That’s hard to answer. I’m learning a lot about how to teach Kundalini. The teachers are simply amazing and I feel like I’m learning from the best of the best. I love morning practice (Sadhana). It simply sends me to other realms. Personally, I have noticed that I can easily complete any kriya regardless of length or intensity if I simply think about work. Of course, this supports that I am a workaholic and use work as my escape. So, I’m trying to just stare down the tip of my nose and get through minute 11 of our 31 minute sets while merging into the bliss of the infinite. The merge must happen post minute 11…I’ll let you know.
Enough complaining though. It’s day 6 I believe and we’ve been told if we can make it through day 7, we will make it. The Kundalini yoga is intense (and in tents…that’s supposed to be funny. I’m delirious…humor me). I can honestly say I’ve never worked so hard in all of my life. I think a marine would have the same thing to say. It’s just brutal and most folks are sore and injured on some level. Zant’s lower back is killing him and he is off to the Ayurvedic doctor tonight with a swollen lymph node and to get something to sleep. With the exception of a now prolapsed uterus (it doesn’t like too much intense stuff like squatting up and down nonstop for 15 minutes), constipation, looking like I’ve aged 10 years, and overall exhaustion, I’m doing great.
They keep telling us the Kundalini is working. I keep asking what crime against humanity did I commit to commit myself here.
Enough complaining though…..
Spiritually? hmmm. That’s hard to answer. I’m learning a lot about how to teach Kundalini. The teachers are simply amazing and I feel like I’m learning from the best of the best. I love morning practice (Sadhana). It simply sends me to other realms. Personally, I have noticed that I can easily complete any kriya regardless of length or intensity if I simply think about work. Of course, this supports that I am a workaholic and use work as my escape. So, I’m trying to just stare down the tip of my nose and get through minute 11 of our 31 minute sets while merging into the bliss of the infinite. The merge must happen post minute 11…I’ll let you know.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
You Are Who You Are Looking For
Yogis, I write this from an Italian cafe with wifi in the heart of Rishikesh, India. We are deep into it here. I think it's day 5 of my Kundalini Teacher Training with Golden Bridges, but I have to tell you I'm not sure. India is a crazy and exhausting place, almost as crazy and exhausting as Kundalini Yoga. Twenty hours of flying, a sleepless night in New Delhi where the smog is so thick it makes your eyes water, 8.5 hours on a car ride that is indescribable because you'd have to see my "terror faces" to truly understand what I'm talking about....and finally to arrive in the mecca of yoga, Rishikesh.
Now I don't want to discourage future travelers or visitors, but you gotta be tough for this journey. India is insane. There are cows everywhere and that means cow poop...everywhere. I personally don't think the cows are actually eating the right diet either, if you know what I mean. There are wild dogs everywhere. They are sweet and follow you around. I don't know who feeds them. There are wild cats everywhere. I'm grateful for that because I haven't had to see a wild snake yet. There are wild monkeys everywhere that scare the crud out of me. I actually had to make a choice to jump off a foot bridge 70 feet over the Ganges or stand my ground with a monkey. The fall wasn't too bad. Just kidding...Zant saved me and has the paw prints on his pants to prove it.
Teacher training is intense on multiple levels. First, Ashram living is rough. The room is damp, cold, and dirty. Believe it or not, we literally have an open grate with no window to the outside world. This wouldn't be so bad, but it's freezing here and the storms have come. Good news is you can buy 3 blankets, a space heater, and a new rug for about $30 in Rishikesh. We are up at 3:30 am and do a kriya or yoga practice and then Sadhana which is a spiritual practice that includes a lot....and I mean a lot of mantra....until 7 am. We break for Ayurvedic breakfast and then back to it until 5:30 at night. We've been in bed by 8 pm every night. It's just exhausting.
I am having lots of amazing experiences, learning a ton, but too tired to really convey.
Oh yea.... I LOVED how Guru Shabad opened this whole thing. He said, "You are who you are looking for." It's kinda set the tone for my spiritual immersion.
Now I don't want to discourage future travelers or visitors, but you gotta be tough for this journey. India is insane. There are cows everywhere and that means cow poop...everywhere. I personally don't think the cows are actually eating the right diet either, if you know what I mean. There are wild dogs everywhere. They are sweet and follow you around. I don't know who feeds them. There are wild cats everywhere. I'm grateful for that because I haven't had to see a wild snake yet. There are wild monkeys everywhere that scare the crud out of me. I actually had to make a choice to jump off a foot bridge 70 feet over the Ganges or stand my ground with a monkey. The fall wasn't too bad. Just kidding...Zant saved me and has the paw prints on his pants to prove it.
Teacher training is intense on multiple levels. First, Ashram living is rough. The room is damp, cold, and dirty. Believe it or not, we literally have an open grate with no window to the outside world. This wouldn't be so bad, but it's freezing here and the storms have come. Good news is you can buy 3 blankets, a space heater, and a new rug for about $30 in Rishikesh. We are up at 3:30 am and do a kriya or yoga practice and then Sadhana which is a spiritual practice that includes a lot....and I mean a lot of mantra....until 7 am. We break for Ayurvedic breakfast and then back to it until 5:30 at night. We've been in bed by 8 pm every night. It's just exhausting.
I am having lots of amazing experiences, learning a ton, but too tired to really convey.
Oh yea.... I LOVED how Guru Shabad opened this whole thing. He said, "You are who you are looking for." It's kinda set the tone for my spiritual immersion.
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