A cynical yogi.

I watched TV tonight. I mean allllll night. A good 3 hours worth. This is what I learned:

Reese’s has the best ad campaign. I will never again argue against having a Reese cup in a moment of distress or despair. What can I say? They got to me. I swear to to the Universe almighty every other commercial was for those luscious little guys who know just how I feel and what I need. We really connected. I will name my next fish Reese.

Humans are obsessed with phones. Apparently Blackberry and intel or someone like that...was it AT&T...have a new agreement to make that Blackberry better. I enjoy my current Blackberry. It’s hard to use. I can’t text or talk and drive because the buttons are so small which keeps me and others safe. I’ve mostly given up on cell phone habits because my phone basically stinks. I don’t know what this union has in store for me, but I like the quiet of my phone. Don’t improve the cell phone. Make them more quiet.

Again, humans are obsessed with phones. I think what we really crave is that most amazing connection where you are completely lost in another. Life is so busy, I guess phones are substitutions for arms. I love the deep meaningful texting that accounts for true connection. Are you kidding me?

There’s lots of scary movies coming out. Why do people want to be scared? I’m scared of lots of things without having to worry about demonic possessions and aliens. Perhaps demonic possessions and aliens are better than our daily fears.

All we really want is love. Match.com and eharmony had almost as many commercials as those Reese cups. Isn’t it funny what we find love in? We can comfort ourselves with the sweet gooey sensation of peanut butter and chocolate or maybe we will truly fall in love with another human.

Everybody wants to be a hero. I don’t know why. They usually start out losing everything they love to push them to “hero” status. Then, regardless of their awareness, they end up working for someone else. In the end, they are cool and tough and save the world, but they walk off into the sunset alone. The only way they make the hero look totally good and totally worth losing everything is to make the guy who is in charge look like a dope and kill him in the end. I don’t want a be a hero or a total dope.

Black leather jackets are totally cool. I gotta find a vegan version.

Children are often smarter than adults. They see the obvious and the details. They read people better than grown ups. Listen to children. They are better connected.

TV is very violent. I promise that 1/2 of my time was spent eyes closed or squinting. Do we choose this to numb us? Perhaps if we see the most disgusting and violent things on TV every single night, then we don’t have to give a thought to the minor tragedies of the day. Compared to TV, the elderly living alone unable to afford medications and care seems like nothing. At least their blood hasn’t been sucked by vampires. Abused children? Who cares. Their soul could have easily been sold to the devil himself in slave trade. The homeless? Get a clue. They just need a Reese cup. duh.

Do I seem cynical. I apologize. Did I mention that I believe I watched 3 hours of TV tonight.........