Our minds in love...

All minds seem to be on love this day. Why do we love? Why do we seek another to find fulfillment? What is this driving need to be so intimately connected to another human? Having divorced and gone through that journey, I have sought this answer for years. This is my journey:

My first answer came from Marianne Williamson in her book "Enchanted Love". She explains that love is the process of being "chosen" by another. Oddly, you can choose another and that person you choose will have an experience of love. If they do not choose you in return, however, you will not have an experience of love.

That led to my second question...what is it to be chosen? This led to my next teacher, Thich Nhat Hahn. In his book, "True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart", he defines the elements of love. The elements are Goodness, Understanding, Compassion, Joy and Freedom.


Goodness
• The desire to make someone happy
• The desire to bring joy to a person
• The ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love

Understanding
• To be there
• To be attentive
• To observe

Compassion
• The desire to ease the pain of another
• The ability to ease the pain of another

Joy
• If there is not joy in love, then you can be sure it is not true love
• If you are suffering, if you cry all the time, this is not love
• If the person you love is suffering or cries all the time, this is not love

Freedom
• In true love, you attain freedom
• When you love a person, you bring them freedom.
• If this is not true, it is not love
• You must give a person space in their heart

Thich Nhat Hahn taught me how to love and how to choose someone.

My current teacher is Osho. He's pretty hard-core and not for the meek. He has taught me the difference between being lonely and being alone. When you are lonely, you seek someone to fill you up. When you are alone, you are happy and fulfilled. You then realize that you are so filled up, you are overflowing. You want to take your excess and give this gift to another.

Yoga has taught me to sit in the present moment and enjoy the one that I love. It has also taught me to embrace the uncertainty of the future. If you can enjoy every single moment with the person you are with, then in each moment you love eternally.

Enjoy the journey. Love yourself first. The rest will simply fall into place.