Suffering through the Holidays

I'm back at the studio after our Thanksgiving holiday and expected to see tons of excited energy as people come off of their long weekend of celebration and begin to plan for Christmas. I didn't see that. I saw lots of people suffering.

Holidays are tough. I can honestly say that because I'm one of the happiest people that I know and I too woke up on Turkey Day a little blue. I had intended to wake up with a big smile and thoughts of gratitude, but when I opened my eyes, I felt sad. I went through my whole bag of yogi tricks. I meditated. I prayed. I ran through a whole list of things to be grateful for. I went to a yoga class. I was still blue.

My plans for a family dinner had fallen through so I invited myself to a friends. It just wasn't the same...and there's the "aha moment"....it wasn't the same. I have to pause and ask, "the same as what?" That question is actually the answer. There is no same. Everything is always changing, but for some insane reason at the holidays, we want some sense of sameness. The need for sameness causes our suffering.

I grew up in a typical house where we piled in the car and drove to grandma's for dinner. After my parents divorced, it tended to just be my mom and I which was very sad. I vetoed the holidays for a very long time, but then I got married and had kids and once again we would pile in the car to grandma's. Of course, I then got divorced and now find myself establishing new traditions AGAIN. I also find myself worried about my children and what traditions they are or are not growing up with. I can't find a single sameness in these past 40 turkey days.

I know that my inner core is happy. I know that my unhappiness stems from expectations based in memories of the past and desires based in future needs. I know that everything is always changing and I know to embrace that. I know to wake up each day and ask for more uncertainty than the day before. I do know these things. I haven't quite figured out how to reconcile my knowing and being, but I do have a plan to get through December happily:

My Plan:

• Meditation Daily.
• Positive Affirmation: December is my month of fun and joy!
• Lots of Karma Yoga: selfless service to others
• Stick to my eating/sleeping routine during the week...have a total blast on the weekends.
• Eat whatever I want when I am out celebrating and worry about it in January.
• Give and receive lots of hugs.
• Plan for 2010...work on those Intentions and Desires I'm always talking about.
• Embrace Uncertainty with the certainty that my life is just how it should be.
  

Please feel free to make my plan your plan. If you find yourself on your own or sad come to yoga or just hang out at the studio! It really does make you happy to surround yourself with good energy and people.

Happy Holidays!