The turtle in the pond

I have a very small pond in my backyard. It has a fountain and some plants. I love this pond. I sit by it daily and enjoy most of my more profound insights next to it. It is perfect for relaxation, communion and meditation. It is my little slice of heaven. I have two children.

My youngest and I decided to capture critters for our pond. We went to the big pond and received quite the education in the velocity in which stinky frogs travel. We then went to the pet store. There we found not only frogs, but crawfish, guppies, goldfish and finally a beautiful orange and black turtle. We named him "Namaste". We love this little guy. Now I sit by my pond to relax, but I find that I am overwhelmed with worry and anxiety until I spot him. He's quite elusive and I am quite attached. I can't settle my mind until he's poked his little head. I worry...did he run off? did a racoon get him? where is he? I desperately search for him and I always find him right where I left him....in the pond. He is always just floating around enjoying the serenity and I'm sure, enjoying the drama of my search.

I realize that these anxious unsettled feelings are exactly the same that I get when I miss a meditation or two or three (okay, sometimes four). I start to worry that I am disconnecting from my spirit. I become anxious that my other self is disappointed in me for abandoning it for too long. Anxiously and hurriedly I return to my meditation searching intently for that connection. Searching for that little out of skin buzz you get when you meditate. Searching for that peaceful serenity of knowing my other me is out there. Don't leave me. Please don't go away. I always find it just where I left it. It's floating around its big pond having the time of its life just waiting for my return. Poking its head in and out. Enjoying its serenity and I'm sure, the drama of my desperate search.